My name is Brynn Fitzgerald. My fiance is Todd Terry, a very close friend of Mike Donato. I want to thank Mike for introducing us to Nicole a few years ago.
First and foremost, our deepest condolences go out to Nicole's friends and we extend our deepest sympathy to Nicole's family as well as Mike. We know that Nicole meant so much to each of you. It is impossible for someone who is loved so much to be gone - for love is immortality. Keep her forever in your heart and share her memory with others. Someone so special can never be forgotten.
I'd like to share the memories I have of Nicole with you. Starting with the very first night we met. Being that my fiance and Mike are so close, I was always trying to set Mike up with someone. A reason, one being that if you know Mike you know that he is relentless, which this trait will also play an important role later on in my story, and two, his relentlessness was annoying when it came to me and him fighting over Todd's attention. He thought we "patty-caked" too much and the baby talk was too much for him to handle and he never failed to let us or anyone else around know. This three-man-relationship wasn't working anymore; for me atleast. My next move..start a to-do list and at the top I put: MUST FIND MIKE A GIRLFRIEND. I did try, and I failed. Partly because Mike wasn't interested and mostly because I realized this three-man-relationship wasn't splitting up and it would become a four-man-show if he did find someone. So I needed someone around that I could tolerate. Here came Nicole, a girl who smiled too much and laughed at everything you said. She already had a plus because she was brunette and the competitive nature that blondes have when they're together was never going to occur with me and her. Also, Mike had found her on his own, so I was intrigued. Later that night, we all went back to our house and after hours of blasting the loudest music, fist pumping and beeping the horn of Todd's truck at all hours of the night for the entire neighborhood to hear, I thought to myself: this girl is going to RUN and never look back. But she didn't. She joined in the crazyness that consists of our group of friends and if anything- she added more to it. She then proceeded to show us yoga and pilates moves at 4am. I checked out to sleep way before she did and when I woke up the next day, I realized she could hang and I liked it.
From there a friendship started between Nic and I. I knew I could always call on her when in my mind, I thought every "symptom" I had was the worst possible situation, she would gently calm me down. "Take two aspirin, drink lots of water and get some rest" to me was no cure for my make-believe syndrome but somehow she was always right.
Nicole and I grew closer as she started to date other people. When Mike realized what he had, his relentlessness came into play, yet again. Not only did I want Mike to really have a girlfriend, I knew that Nicole was the right one for him. Her independence, her ready smile, her genuine spirit that truly cared about your response when she asked how you were doing, were just a few things that made Nicole such a good person.
In some form, Nicole and I communicated almost every day. I will never forget sitting up and talking to Mike for hours on end about how to win Nicole over. She was being stubborn but on the verge of caving, and of course, we couldn't let him know that. I told him not to give up!! He'd asked me if sending her flowers to work was a good idea. A good idea? Mike, that's a great idea. In fact, the best idea you've ever had. She'd text me during the work day, "Oh my god, Mike sent me flowers to work!" My response, "Oh really? He did!!!! Hmm! That's not like him. He must really like you!" It didn't take long for those flowers and the little puppy Jake to melt her heart. But somewhere along the lines, I think Mike had melted it way before. I recall just a month before Nicole passed, those two sitting on our couch, flirting, playing, from what I can gather, basically "patty-caking" and maybe even a hint of baby talk here and there... I looked over at Todd and we both gave each other an "air high-five" because Mike had finally broken up with us and was in love with a girl that I loved too.
Nicole was such an amazing person. She found the good in everything. I knew her sister in North Carolina, Suzanne, had twin boys already. Then Nicole informed me that another sister of hers had twins. Shocked, I responded, "oh my god Nicole, you're going to have twins too." Without hesitation and such enthusiasm, she responded, batting her eyes and a quick shrug of her shoulders, "I can't wait, I hope I have triplets." Her neices and nephews were the apple of her eye. A day well spent was a day spent with them. Nicole would call me while she was watching her three nephews. It sounded like complete chaos in the background. Every two seconds she would interrupt our conversation to say something to them. And when I would tell her, "You sound really busy, why don't you call me back later on?" She would say, "Oh no! I'm not busy. We're just making brownies." Three boys and the kitchen, and she wasn't busy. It was like an every day thing for her. She spoke of those children as if they were her own.
Look out around you and see how many loved ones she had. This is only a fraction of the lives Nicole touched. She had not one enemy---only countless friends. Even the 40 men that she said she couldn't stand, I know she only said that for devotion to another group of men. These men are the Mets and her said enemies were the Yankees. Nicole, I hope your innings never end and know that you have made a run for home. Cross the plate with your wings. You were an angel on Earth, now home to your field in paradise.
From Christmas to New Years Eve, from Valentine's Day to Easter, from the start of baseball season to Cinco de Mayo, from Donatopalooza to nail appointments... and everything that fell in between, I have a memory of Nicole. When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure. I will treasure each memory that I have of you, Nicole, until we meet again.
I remember our conversation that we had when Andy had passed away. It had been a few weeks since he has passed and you opened up to me about your grieving. Remember how you felt that you couldn't find peace because you had no where to go to talk to him since he was up in New Jersey and you were down here? I am sharing this with all of you because Nicole is not here physically. And we have no grave to visit. And even if we did, only Nicole's body would be there. Her spirit left her body and that spirit is wherever you want it to be. Everyone always wanted Nicole to be somewhere with them. Being that she couldn't be in ten different places at once she was always running around trying to visit with everyone. Now Nicole can be anywhere, everywhere at anytime. I remember telling Nicole to "go and find a spot. Go to the park near Mike's. Find a spot where you feel is right, whether in the sun or in the shade. Andy will find you. He'll be there. And he'll comfort you. Tell him anything and everything you want. Talk to him." She told me she was going to do just that and I heard a little relief in her voice. So I extend my advice to each of you. Find a spot where you feel peaceful. Where you know that you and Nicole can spend time. I will be finding that spot for you, my friend, and I know you will be there.
I am sad that I have no one to eat my celery when I order fried buffalo wings. I am sad that I have no one to complain about our boyfriends with and to back up my frustrations with an, "I know, right!" I am sad that I will not get my weekly Friday and Saturday night texts about Mike anymore. I am sad that I have no one to help me convince Todd that I should have little yappy dogs. But mostly, I am sad that I cannot exchange smiles with you anymore. Moving forward, I will celebrate your life, Nicole. I will be happy that I had someone to eat my celery and that someone was you. I will be happy that me, you, Mike and Todd had a relationship. I will be happy that we kept in touch daily and will forever remember your long-winded texts with exclamation points! I will be happy in knowing that subconsciously you locked yourself out of Mike's apartment with Jake and had no choice but to call Todd and have him watch Jake knowing that he didn't want dogs! And mostly, I will be happy that when I think of you, close my eyes and see your face that all I see are those smiles and nothing less. Friends, you can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back. Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
To each of Nicole's loved ones, no words can bring comfort to you right now. But it will be the little things that you will remember- the crazy moments, the smiles, the laughter. And although it may seem hard right now, it will be the memories of these little things that help to push away the pain and bring the smiles back again.
May friends and family comfort you, may faith uphold you, and may those memories make you smile again. I know these words can't mend your heartache but those who care and share in your loss wish you that needed comfort and peace of mind. Find strength in the love of Nicole's family and in the warm embrace of her friends and if you're lucky, her neices and nephews.
Nicole, I'll never forget you. I told you that I'd always be there to hold your hand. In the words of one of your favorites, (and I'm still not even sure why!!) David Bowie, when I live my dream, I'll take you with me. Riding on a golden horse, we'll live within my castle, with people there to serve you and happy at the sound of your voice. When I live my dream, please be there to meet me. Nicole, Bowie promised that there is a happy land where only children live. So please, save me a spot on that rainbow in the sky, my girl, I'll be seeing you again.
